Taoism: "if you understand shit, it isn't shit"
Hinduism: "this shit happened before"
Confucianism: "confusious say 'shit happens'"
Buddhism: "shit will happen to you again"
Zen: "what is the sound of shit happening?"
Islam: "if shit happens is the will of Allah"
Sikhism: "leave our shit alone"
Jehova's Witness: "knock knock, shit happens"
Atheism: "I don't believe this shit"
Agnosticism: "can you prove that shit happens?"
Catholocism: "if shit happens, you deserve it"
Protestantism: "shit happends, amen to that"
Judaism: "why does this shit always happen to us?"
Orthodox Judaism: "so shit happens, already"
Televangelism: "send money to us, or shit will happen to you"
Rastafarianism: "let's smoke this shit"
Hare Krishna: "shit happens rama rama"
Nation Of Islam: "don't take no shit"
New Age: "visualise shit happening"
Satanism: "sneppah tihs"
Capitalism: "this is MY shit"
Feminism: "men are shit"
Existensialism: "what is shit, anyway?"
Scientology: "if shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"
Mormonism: "excrement happens" (don't say shit)
Baptism: "we'll wash the shit right off you"
Mysticism: "this is really weird shit"
Voodoo: "shit doesn't just happen, we made it happen"
Mysticism: "this is really weird shit"
Disneyism: "bad shit doesn't happen here"
Wicca: "you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times"
Comminism: "let's share the shit"
Marxism: "you have nothing to lose but your shit"
Conspiracy Theorism: "THEY shit on us!"
Psychianalysis: "tell me about your shit"
Darwinism: "survival os the shittiest"
Amish: "modern shit is useless"
Suicidal: "I've had enough of this shit"
Optimism: "shit win't happen to me"
Trekism: "to boldly shit where no-one has shit before"
Shakespearean: "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"
Descartes: "I shit, therefore I am"
Freud: "shit is phallic symbol"
Lawyers: "for money, I can get you out of shit"
Acupuncturist: "hold still or this hurt like shit"
Dog: "I just shit in your shoe"
Cat: "dogs are shit"
Mouse: "oh shit! a cat!"
Politically Correct: "internally processed, nutritionally drained biological output happens"
Einstein: "shit is relative"
Family Gathering: "relatives are shit"
Materialism: "whoever dies with the most shit, wins"
Vegetarianism: "if it happens to shit, don't eat it"
Fatalism: "oh shit, it's going to happen"
Environmentalism: "shit is biodegradable"
Americanism: "who gives a shit?"
Statistician: "shit is 84.7% llikely to happen"
Hip-Hop: "motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!"
Tantarism: "fuck this shit"
Cynicism: "we are all full of shit"
Surrealism: "fish happens"